John is hungry, yet service is refused. A fiasco ensues.

I arrive at a popular family restaurant around 8 o'clock with Amy and though it's pretty crowded there's barely a wait to get seated. We're having a good time, as women always seem to do when they are out with me, and after a few minutes while waiting for our server, we decide what we are going to eat. The wait goes on, then goes on some more, and then goes on some more. Being two understanding individuals, we realize it's pretty busy, but we haven't even been acknowledged since we'd been seated. Giving the benefit of the doubt we wait a little while longer. By now it's been over 20 minutes. Usually after 2 minutes people hyperbolize "It's been 4 hours, where is the server!" No exaggeration, 20 minutes and we hadn't even been asked if we wanted an appetizer yet. We are both a little troubled by the whole situation.

I start trying to make eye contact and signal for any server to at least inform us of who's section we're in and if/when we're going to get some nourishment. No dice. Patiently we wait a few more minutes before I realize something drastic is going to have to take place. By now more than a few people around us have noticed what was going on and they can't believe it either. Patrons that came in after us are already getting their meals and I'm sitting there famished. Time to let the joint know Johnny's hungry.

A few tables over and notice a group of people enjoying some pizza. I think to myself "Wow, that looks good and will probably satisfy my hunger" so I walk over and sit down joining them. Once again everyone in the place's eyes are on me. I explain that my lovely lady friend and I have not even been acknowledged for 20 minutes and that I'm hungry. They are stunned yet clearly enjoying this whole fiasco.

Me: How much do you want for those 2 slices?
Stunned and overjoyed pizza eaters: (laughing) Oh, I don't know, haha!
Me: Well (I take out my stash) I'll give you 5 bucks. Does that sound fair? 5 bucks for 2 pieces of pizza, you'll make a profit from eating dinner.
Pizza Eaters: Haha, oh, sure! Ha ha ha!

I bring the pizza back to my table and it's inhaled within seconds. I'm still starving. I see some more enticing cuisine at another table. Immediately I'm walking towards them salivating and my newest victims are anxiously awaiting, knowing what's coming. By the time I sit down everyone at the table is telling me how good their entree is and offering me a bite. They are arguing over whose meal is better and why I should eat their food instead of the other's. The debates escalate as they are happily trying to "sell me" on the best plate. Apparently THIS finally got the attention of the staff and the manager came out immediately.

Without being rude I sternly explain the situation to him. He can't believe I actually started eating other customer's food because I wasn't served. He is clearly delighted at my antics but I inform him I'm not here for his amusement or his patrons entertainment. I want my dinner. As always, apologies are flying at me left and right and we finally get endless food and the praise of everyone in the restaurant.

The only time I've been more full in my life was before I ate the Poulet Vomi.

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