The glass change container

Though all the stories posted are "You had to be there to understand," I usually at least do what I can to convey them so you get as close to that feeling as possible. This story however just had to be posted as it's one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and to show love for the most ruthless class ever, straight from CCS. It's not too detailed, it's an 'insider' story, and takes place when I was in 3rd grade.

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This was another typical day in the elementary school cafeteria at our table of the "bad" kids. The daily routine was harassing others, have as much fun as possible, and pretty much do whatever we wanted. One day during our usual antics we noticed that there were empty water jugs (the kind that go on top of a water cooler) on the tops of multiple pianos that were in the back of our lunchroom. Nothing out of the ordinary, until time went on. We realized that every Monday these jugs were getting less and less empty. What was filling them up so quickly? That's right, money. Our school, that was a Church on Sundays, was using that as a "tithe" jar that people would put money into. Now, I would GUESSTIMATE that it was used just for the Sunday school kids since it was mostly change with a few dollar bills here and there. I saw this as nothing but my friends whose eyes lit up with glee, greed, and opportunity, thought otherwise.

Starting to plot and think, we all devised a strategic plan to get rich. Since I wasn't a thief (I've stolen one thing in my entire life when I was 5 and my Gramps set me straight) but was loyal to my friends and more so despised authority, I was going to be the diversion (look Ma' I diverged ROG!).

Toward the end of the lunch period everyday, myself and Caleb would cause some sort of scene. Usually regurgitating food and serving it on a plate to girls at another table, causing them to scream, complain, cry, etc. would be the distraction. Clearly, I've always been a ladies man. During this ritual of disgust, Sam and Chad would sneak back behind the pianos. They would have to stay low and reach up into the jars and take out as much money as they could get at a time. After looting their spoils, inconspicuously they would sneak back to the lunch table. The whole process took less than a minute from all of us sitting at the table, to executing all aspects of the plan, to everyone sitting back at the table united. This went on for weeks. Then Sam got greedy.

Everything was going as planned. Sam and Chad had made their exit and were hidden behind the pianos, Me and Caleb were doing what we did best, and everyone including the teachers and staff were completely oblivious to what was taking place. I began to wonder what was going on after our allotted time was passed, and there was still no sight of Sam or Chad. We extended our impromptu distraction session and all the tricks were being pulled out of our sleeves. It seemed like we were at it forever. The noise was escalating and our voices grew louder for more distraction. The whole place was getting louder and out of nowhere - SMAAAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHH!!! In one instant, the noisiest place in the universe became more silent than a midnight walk on the moon.

As everyone turns to the back where this noise came from, nothing can be seen but the lonely pianos. Curiosity heightens as everyone sees what I feared worst. Slower than an abused dog, Sam hesitantly inches his head above the piano. We see his beet red face which is now barely recognizable due to the bright red color that emits from his skin. He reluctantly looks left, then even slower to the right, and then comes the facade. The slowest, most uncomfortable smile I have ever seen. At this hilarious moment the place was still dead silent. We were all wondering what was coming next as time sat still.

Shamefully, Sam comes back to the gathering and everything in the cafeteria is back to normal. He's grabbed by the teachers and immediately gets interrogated. Of course he lies his way out saying he was putting money "IN" the jars and by some sort of miracle the teachers believe this troublemaker.

Come to find out he was back there so long because he saw a $5 bill in the jar but since he had to reach his hand up without being noticed, he could never look at what he was doing. Having to blindly feel around to get the prized $5 bill was no easy feat.

Aside from the fact that Sam is going to hell, this was just the beginning of many adventures in that crazy school. There have been many extremely hilarious tear inducing moments throughout my life, and being such a short incident and taking place when and where it did, it definitely was and still is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. CCS4LIFE!

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