Busted Britney

The fact that the majority of people you ask would agree that Britney Spears is an attractive woman is utterly disdainful. This doesn't just pertain to Mrs. Spears/Federline being ugly, but to other "beautiful" actress' such as Charlize Theron, Jenny McCarthy, and yes folks, Pamela Anderson, the hepatitis aside.

Am I extremely critical when it comes to women and their looks? Why yes I am. Do I think all the above women are unattractive when they are all made up on film? Of course not. But let's take a closer look at this Hollywood phenomenon, which also pertains to our average female that completely covers her face in makeup. I digress however. This is all about beautiful Britney.

Let's take a look at the reality of the matter. When Britney Spears wakes up in the morning, not only is she nothing special, but would easily make me cringe. It's a shame she looks nothing like the hot chick from the "Hit me baby one more time" video but more like the "Baby why did you hit me in the face multiple times with that tree trunk?" chick.

Britney as you know her...

I'll admit, pretty hot.

Britney as any one of the multitudes of men who have woken up next to her...

I'll admit, I just vomited.

And you thought I was crazy. Well I am, but that's besides the point. As in most cases, sure, deceivingly she looks great! Once the mask comes off, a totally different story. This is a huge problem in our society. You go out and meet legions of beautiful women (or at least I do) hang out and realize this is going to be another attractive female to spend some time with. Things couldn't be better. The next thing you know the switch takes place. The first time this happened to me I was in utter shock. I actually called the police after I thought the girl I had been hanging out with got kidnapped by an ugly girl who took her place. To my shock it was just the same girl without makeup. The police then arrested her, charging her with dissimulation and 4 counts of "falsifying her face."

This is a monstrosity. Guys are so stupid and easily fooled by make-up easily believing the deformity in front of them is a beauty queen. Girls are even more foolish for displaying such a lie. Why after wearing "fakeup" would you not understand when you are never spoken to again by someone you completely deceived? Females are great deceivers. That's sexist John! No, reader, it's truth. Are you really that tall? Whoops, that's your heels that make you look tall. LIE! Is your hair really like that? Whoops, you dyed it, spent an hour straightening it, and killed the ozone layer while spraying WD-40 in it. LIE! You are so beautiful. Whoops! That's the bottle of Cover Girls "Hide my real face" I'm looking at. And it runs when you sweat (dry heave). LIE!

As you can see, our good friend and devil worshipper Britney is guilty of putting on enough "fakeup" to deceive all the fools that thinks she looks good. Please, be it with Britney or with your local working girl in the typical bar/club/school, use discretion and realize that the girl you think is soooooo hoooot is not only completely deformed, but quite frankly, without makeup looks like this...

~John "I have to go clean up the mess left after looking at Britney's real face" Money

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